Weekly Menu Update: August 29 - September 4 - 3rd Edition, More Chaos

See The Original Meal Plan

How the fuck is it only Tuesday and the entire week has already gone to shit? Sunday was a mess, but we figured it out in the end. Store-prepared fajitas were on sale, so they stepped in and saved the day. Last night, I thought we were going to be stuck eating leftover pizza, but D.J. came through by making gravy or spaghetti sauce, for anyone who doesn’t speak Italian-American during the day.

Even after moving more shit last night, we managed to get dinner on the table in about 20 minutes with minimal cleanup. At this point, I consider that a tremendous success.

Tonight’s Plan: Eat Whatever Is Left

That leftover pizza is still sitting in the fridge, so tonight may be more of a help-yourself-to-dinner situation.

I picked up some arancini today, which will definitely be making an appearance on my dinner plate. We still have gravy left, so I’m technically using up leftovers. That counts, right? I also grabbed some frozen ravioli to go with it. If the kids would rather have pizza or assemble some kind of snacky dinner, they can do that. IDFK. Everyone will eat something, and that’s what matters.

Wednesday: Chores, Bribery and Another Easy Dinner

Tomorrow, Anthony has robotics, and D.J. works until around 9:30. I’m going to need another easy dinner because Wednesday nights are when I attempt to get all the housework done. I send Joey outside to play with the neighbor boy, put the teenager to work doing chores and listen to complaints the entire fucking time. But it’s free-ish labor.

I can usually bribe Anthony with a caffeinated beverage, food or an extra Fortnite match with his friends. Any of those will normally earn me a chore or two with minimal bitching. Maybe I should make him an actual chore list. Will he follow it? Probably not.

Will I make one anyway and pretend this is the week we finally become an organized family? Absolutely.

Apparently, It’s Labor Day Weekend

I want to get everything cleaned and ready because I’m sure we’ll have people over this weekend. That means the house needs to be at least somewhat guest-ready.

It’s probably some Boomer bullshit that was permanently hammered into my brain, but this Millennial Mama still likes her house to look Zillow-ready whenever someone comes over. Usually, it only stays that way for about 30 minutes, but I take those 30 minutes in all their spotless glory. Everyone says I’ll miss the mess and chaos when the kids are grown and gone. Maybe I will. But if they could give me one solid 24-hour stretch of cleanliness right now, I would be the happiest woman alive.

When I originally planned our menu for the week, I completely forgot Labor Day existed.

Whoops. That changes things a little. We’ll need extra snacks because people will probably be here all weekend, I’ll have my bonus teenager and everyone will be home on Monday demanding to be fed every 14 minutes. For some reason, the kids can survive an entire school day with lunch and three snacks. The second they spend a full day at home, they become insatiable food vacuums.

The math isn’t mathing.

Am I a sucker? Probably. Anyway, here is the revised menu beginning tonight. The third edition is always the best edition, right?

The Revised Menu... For Now

Tuesday — Leftovers

Pizza for whoever wants it. Ravioli and arancini with the leftover gravy for me. Snacky dinner is also an acceptable answer.

Wednesday — Korean Beef and Rice…or Maybe Ramen

Anthony already took the ground beef out, so I need to cook it. Korean beef and rice is probably the easiest option because it only requires one pan and the rice cooker.

Sometimes, I make a fresh carrot salad to go with it. It is ridiculously simple: carrots peeled into ribbons and tossed with soy sauce, lime juice, sesame oil and some other shit that is written down at home. The boys love it. Even Joey willingly eats his vegetables when I make it, so obviously it’s a banger. If I remember, I’ll share the actual recipe.

Thursday — OUT!

No cooking. No explanation needed.

Friday — Burgers

Because heaven forbid I feed everyone ground beef two nights in a row.

Saturday — Food?

Something will be served. That is the full extent of the plan.

Sunday and Monday — Future Lindsie’s Problem

Those meals will be included in next week’s post because that is way too far ahead for me to plan right now. We could have no food left by then.

Again: teenagers are food vacuums.

The Great Labor Day Snack Restock

I placed a massive Sam’s Club order today, and it was basically all snacks.

I tried to create some semblance of balance by ordering healthier options like Yoggies, Built Bars, cheese and nut packs. Then I balanced those with bags of chips, Fruit Roll-Ups and Little Bites.

I give the entire snack supply two weeks. Maximum.

The Little Bites will be gone within a week, but they make a perfectly acceptable breakfast when someone sleeps in and needs to goooooooo. I also added eggs and chicken nuggets because you can never have too many chicken nuggies lying around. They’re basically our emergency food supply.

I wanted Oreos, but the mix I chose must have sold out because they didn’t make it into my order. This whole #OreoGate situation makes me laugh more than it should. I feel like if Ava can’t have Oreos, Joey needs to eat them in her place.

The Built Bars don’t stand a chance either. They never do.

Will the Rest of the Week Go According to Plan?

This is my official update as of Tuesday at 3:30 p.m. Will the week get better? Who the fuck knows?

We’ll see how everything plays out and whether this third version of the meal plan survives through the weekend. I’m going to hope for the best, expect the worst and keep enough chicken nuggets in the freezer to handle whatever happens.

Completely off-topic, but very on-brand, I also need to decide what colors I want to put in my hair next and pick them up this weekend. Unless ZuviLife wants to send me one of its awesome ColorBoxes so Anthony can use the app to mix whatever hair color he chooses for me in the bathroom. Then I wouldn’t have to base my next personality change entirely on whatever happens to be available and on sale at Sally Beauty.

Your move, ZuviLife.

I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE! I get countless ads for it. I feel like that's the world telling me that I need to be more and more of a mermaid, and color my hair.